neigedens: shirley examining tiny nipples (Default)
Hello, yes, I'm not dead, I just broke my laptop, but I have a new one so I stayed up all night reading Homestuck/writing this stupid fic for Homestuck, you're welcome.

The Fuckamorphosis (god what a stupid title)
Fandom: Homestuck
Wordcount: 2,500
Characters: Karkat, Kanaya, Rose
Pairing: Karkat♦Gamzee
Prompt: Here. Karkat's mutant blood means he has a shorter lifespan than the rest of the trolls.
Summary: You've determined that you're going to die on this hornpile, because why the fuck not? Every time one of these fuckasses you call friends comes in to tell you, "Oh, Karkat, don't be so dramatic, you're not going to die," it makes you just a little more determined to do so, just to spite those doubting motherfuckers.

>Be the blind girl )
neigedens: shirley examining tiny nipples (abed/troy)
So, I have a lot of stuff to do today! I have meds to pick up, a geriatric dog to take to the vet to get her toenails cut (my geriatric dog has very sensitive toenails, also doing it grosses me out), and a picture to print out so I can put it in a peacock frame and give it to my best friend's mom as a thank you gift about a month late. So I got up early today. To get a head start on all these chores? No, so I could


Seriously, all of those exclamation points and sparkles are ESSENTIAL to relate to you just how excited I am by P&R. I just finished "Eagleton," where Leslie has that adorable birthday dinner for Ron. I just love her, so much. Like, I'm not even kidding when I say I want to be her. She is my song and declaration of faith and I hella admire her thoughtfulness and general goodness. ♥

Plus just all the little details! I love the level of world-building that goes into the whole thing, just the little callbacks and jokes that get reused. A lot of it reminds me of older Simpsons? I mean, obviously the Pawnee-Eagleton rivalry owes a lot to those Springfield-Shelbyville episodes (quick someone write a fic where the Eagletonians are bougie jerks all about marrying their cousins!) but the funny thing is that P&R is far more original and interesting about using older Simpsons' ideas that new!Simpsons is about cannibalizing old episodes' ideas. (I assume? I don't think I've watched any new Simpsons for at least a year if not more.)

For some reason the little detail that makes me laugh the hardest thinking about is Leslie trying to get Ron to go see the World's Largest Rocking Chair on the way to Indianapolis (the brochure says: "IT'S HUGE!") Every year my parents, my brother, and I go up to our family reunion outside Eveleth, Minnesota, which is home to the World's Largest Hockey Stick, so, yes, this is a thing.

The fact that I stopped in the middle of watching to write this entry speaks a lot for my self-control, so good job me! Probably doesn't speak very well for my "actually doing useful things" initiative, though, ha, oops.
neigedens: always i want to beeeee with you make-belieeve with you (river is magical)
Fic! I made fic, guys. With a threesome, and incest. Inadvertent incest. (Inad-cest? Is that a thing? It is now.) And now, for good measure, a few more important Star Wars thoughts, this time about Empire Strikes Back:
  • I LOVE THIS MOVIE YOU GUYS. It will be my favorite, always and forever.

  • At the end of the movie Lando is wearing the same clothes that Han was wearing to the medal ceremony in "A New Hope." This leads me to one of two conclusions: either Han and Lando both are frequent customers of Rascally Scoundrel Outfitters Ltd., or Lando is Han's ex, they parted on bad terms (to say the least), and now Lando feels entitled to wear Han's clothes. Maybe originally they were his! Is there fic about this? There needs to be.

  • My OTP is Han/Leia, but my real OTP is Han/unnecessary aggression towards people who are only trying to help him. "You'll die out there!" "THEN I'LL SEE YOU IN HELL!" Maybe Han yells that all the time. Like, "General Solo, we're out of turbo-deicers for the south doors!" "Then I will see those turbo-deicers all IN HELL." Man, who did Han have to sleep with besides Leia to be made a general? It's a mystery.

  • More thoughts: Han is a polygamist; droids are adorable; I love Leia, as you may have guessed )

    My life does consist of more than Star Wars nostalgia, but at this point even I am having a hard time believing it.
neigedens: shirtless man staringly longingly ("i love you" "i know")
This was pretty much inevitable. Also I got more of a kick out of using the Troy icon than I should have.

Title: Simple Tricks and Nonsense
Fandom: Star Wars: A New Hope
Word Count: 3028
Rating: R
Characters: Han/Leia/Luke
Warning(s): (highlight to reveal) Well, incest, obviously. Inadvertent incest. I'm not sure if that defense holds up in court or not.
Notes: Thanks to [ profile] custardpringle for beta-ing.

Summary: The experimental protocol droid in the barroom on Yavin IV was the start of all of Princess Leia's problems. In a way.

Analysis shows: 40 percent chance of Skywalker imbibing enough alcohol to induce vomiting. 30 percent chance of Skywalker and Solo engaging in fisticuffs or impromptu lightsaber/extra-long drink straw battle-- )
neigedens: shirley examining tiny nipples (uhura hearts you yes you)
OK, so my theory in "A New Hope," (and I can't believe it took me until I'm almost 22 to articulate this theory) is that right after destroying the Death Star, Han, Leia, and Luke had the galaxy's most ILL-ADVISED threesome while drunk on Romulan ale or whatever the hell they drink a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.

I mean, say that it was so awkward that they never spoke of it again, so awkward that finding out that Luke and Leia were siblings only made it slightly more awkward. (I think Han had always idly fantasized about doing it with a pair of twins, but then when it turned out that he actually had he felt retroactively really skeeved out.)

Assuming this makes the medal ceremony scene, like, 60 times funnier, what with Han's irascible smiles, Luke's constant :D? :D? face (I'm pretty sure he was thinking about how he, as a small one-man fighter, had managed to penetrate an incredibly dense and advanced security system, taking a one-in-a-million shot at a thermal exhaust port which set off a chain reaction that then DESTROYED HIS VIRGINITY), and Leia apparently being so flustered and exasperated by all of it that she FORGOT TO GIVE CHEWIE HIS MEDAL. (And now I've written fic, to illustrate the truthiness of this theory.)

more important thoughts on ANH: I LOVE WOOKIEES YOU GUYS )
neigedens: shirley examining tiny nipples (uhura/sulu badtouch!)
Hello, flist/circle! I added a bunch of people a few weeks ago during the 3W4DW Social Anxiety Friending Meme and then, for reasons that I hope are obvious, didn't update for like six weeks after that. Anyway, hello, new friends and old! Sorry it took so long for me to, like, say stuff.

So, what have I been up to? Well, many things: I've been using to start a daily writing habit and, as a consequence, I've been starting a few fics for Doctor Who (which I am loving thise season.) I've signed up at the LJ comm [ profile] ficfinishing in the hopes of finishing one (or all!) of them before they're made obsolete by new episodes.

For whatever reason, though, the story that has the most momentum right now is the one that doesn't have a deadline. I started writing a Star Trek: TOS/Star Wars crossover for the lulz, and now it's about 10,000 words of Uhura/McCoy/Han Solo sex and heist shenanigans. The working title is "How Uhura made the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs." There...really is no excuse for this.

But anyway, as a consequence of this I'm rewatching the original trilogy. Because I'm worried about making Chewbacca in-character. It's difficult to imagine what his speech patterns must sound like in Shryiiwook! So anyway, expect a post about "A New Hope" later, because now that I haven't updated in weeks it's imperative that I do it like three times in a day. Duh.

So, in conclusion: nice to meet you, new f/rlisters, and I apologize in advance.
neigedens: shirley examining tiny nipples (bones/tribbles OTP)
This fic needs to reach everyone, every where. It's that good.

Turning Towards Television, Community/Star Trek: TOS Crossover. Spock/M'Benga, Scotty/Uhura, Kirk/Shirley, Jeff/Uhura. Instead of traveling to the 1960s and meeting with up Gary Seven, the Enterprise travels to 2011 where they seek to investigate the media saturated culture of the day. They end up with more than they bargained for when they beam down to Greendale.

I love crossovers, you guys. I used to have no opinion on them. I can't even believe that.
neigedens: shirley examining tiny nipples (maeby)
You're now a Time Lord. The 41st picture in your folder is your companion. The 17th is your arch enemy.

So this my companion:

And this is my arch enemy:

I have to wonder who would be worse: Barry as a criminal mastermind (HA) or Starburns as a plucky companion. I think I'd prefer Starburns in a more ancillary role. Like as my drug dealer or something.
neigedens: shirley examining tiny nipples (king of clubs)
So last night I came home from a friend's wedding in Marquette, Michigan, which is a seven hour drive from where I live. When I got here, no one was home. They had all gone to my grandma's, so not even the dog was here to say "Hey, Briana, we missed you!" FINE WHATEVER. So, to spite all of them for deserting me, I got caught up on mah stories, even though I usually watch Community with my mom and Doctor Who with my bff. Spoilers for "The Curse of the Black Spot" and "A Fistful of Paintballs," respectively.


A Fistful of Amazeballs )
neigedens: shirley examining tiny nipples (like some kind of fairy tale)
I am one of those instant gratification types who also isn't that bothered about spoilers, so in many cases I will go weeks or maybe even months without enjoying my stories until suddenly I'm like FUCK IT I CAN STAND IT NO MORE and will stay up all night to watch them all at once. This is how I have enjoyed some of my favorite shows (Arrested Development, A:tLA) and also how I slogged through some of the stuff I didn't particularly care for but didn't mind watching anyway (most of Doctor Who seasons 2 through 4 comes to mind, with a few exceptions, natch.) Similarly, I also like to go weeks without updating my journal and then suddenly, without warning, dump a bunch of tl;dr on your flists/circles.

Anyway, the point of all that is that I CANNOT DEAL WITH THIS CLIFFHANGER SHIT, YOU GUYS. I need the conclusion of "The Impossible Astronaut," but apparently BBC America have decided to air all the DW episodes at the same time as in the UK in order to discourage pirates. Pirates like me! THIS IS AWFUL.

spoilery thoughts on The Impossible Astronaut )

In conclusion: BE SATURDAY NOW.
neigedens: shirley examining tiny nipples (our flashback wasn't color corrected)
Today I didn't work, so I thought I'd go to the library and do some writing on a computer with a keyboard isn't the size of a postage stamp. (I'm actually growing somewhat fond of this tiny laptop that I think my mom won in a raffle, but this does not change the fact that its apostrophe key is in a stupid place and I'm too scared to install a non-shitty (read: non-IE) browser on it for fear of making it explode.) Instead of writing anything or doing anything remotely useful with the computers taxpayers like me have paid for, I instead started backreading a bunch of the Filthy Critic archives and then I moved onto the Wikipedia overviews of the Saw movies out of perverse curiosity.

I've never actually seen any of the Saw movies as the very concept makes me a bit sick, but I have to imagine that that you get about as much a sense of the characters' motivations and of the plot itself from reading the Wikipedia summaries as you do from watching the actual movie, and one option means that you see 100% less of the insides of a characters' intestines so, you know, there is that.

tl;dr, bottom line is I got nothing done today by wasting time in the stupidest possible way and IT WAS CARY ELWES BEHIND THE MURDERS ALL ALONG.
neigedens: dude covering a goat's ears (escapegoat)
So, I haven't updated in about 20 years, sorry about that. And now that I AM updating I'm doing it from an impossibly tiny mini laptop I'm borrowing from my mom because in the past two weeks I have somehow managed to put BOTH of our household's main computers out of comission, which is upsetting but also a little impressive, if I do say so myself.

Anyway, hi! I came back for one purpose and one purpose only, and that is: to do this silly WIP meme that's been going around.

yeahhhhhh )

Also this is not on Gdocs because I started it after I abused all our poor laptops so badly, but I am continuing the tradition of inapppropriate Community crossovers with one where Eleven and Amy save Greendale from some vague alien threat. I think in the end Abed and Amy should run off together and run their own detective agency, though, amirite?
neigedens: shirley examining tiny nipples (Default)
This is an awesome meme I stole from [ profile] ishie.

The Rules: Don't take too long to think about it. Fifteen authors (poets included) who have influenced you and will always stick with you. List the first 15 you can recall in no more than 15 minutes, and they don't have to be listed in order of relevance to you.

featuring those authors beloved by 13 year-old me )

Seriously, an amazing meme.
neigedens: shirley examining tiny nipples (uhura hearts you yes you)
Dear Yuletide writer,

Ack! I put this off too late and now you probably got linked to a placeholder, for which I am truly sorry. Despite appearances to the contrary, I am SO excited for you to write a fic for me, and obviously usual disclaimers in these types of letter apply: you should take everything I say as only a guideline and can disregard it if it's not your thing.

So! Random shit I like: prison escape stories, stupid sitcom-esque plots, bantering, ~chosen families~, robots, dogs, robot dogs.

shit specific to my fandoms that I like )

Thank you so much! I am sure I will love whatever you write for me. ♥
neigedens: shirtless man staringly longingly ("i love you" "i know")
Quick check-in before NaNo starts! I am neigedens at the NaNo website so add me if you are there as well. For those of you who are curious, instead of writing fanfic this year for episodes of Trek:TOS that were so bad I could only watch most of it once, this year I am writing original sci-fi romance. Here's the summary!

click IF YOU DARE )

In case you couldn't tell, this is kind of all being pulled out of my ass! I look forward to this month very much, at any rate, it should be fun!

Now to talk about the really important: how much do I love Community? God I love it so much sometimes.
neigedens: shirley examining tiny nipples (abed/annie)
Title: Mistakes
Author: [personal profile] neigedens
Rating: Teen; no warnings
Word Count: 500 words
Notes: Written for the [ profile] brittaanniethon on LJ for [ profile] lenina20, who wanted Britta/Annie/Abed future fic.

Read more... )
neigedens: dude covering a goat's ears (escapegoat)
The Pre-NaNo Project Clearout continues apace! I'm feeling really excited this year for NaNo, because even if I don't finish, it's still spurred me on to finish two fics that have been languishing in gdocs for months

Also, apparently the word in fandom these days is that Tumblr is the cancer that's killing LJ fandom, and I always like to hop on that bandwagon, so I am there under the name "onecatch" for some reason. So if a strange person starts following you, don't be alarmed, if it's not a Russian porn site, it's probably just me! Also I am on and the twitters as "ousontles." Social media guys. It's the shit.
neigedens: shirley examining tiny nipples (j&tb)
You were just thinking "Man, when is Briana going to finish that Community/MST3K crossover fic she started writing 3 months ago?" SURE YOU WERE.

Title: Experiment 513: Kickpuncher (Part 2 of 2)
Word Count: 1260 (this part)
Notes: Still [personal profile] dancesontrains's fault. Same notes apply as in Part One. Also, if you don't know what The Human Centipede is, I would suggest asking a trusted friend or family member because they might have more consideration for your delicate sensibilities than the wiki summary or anything you might Google would.

Summary: Troy and Abed's summer temp job goes a little off the rails.

I would totally let you be the front part of the centipede, for what it's worth )


neigedens: shirley examining tiny nipples (Default)
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December 2011

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