I have a whole whack of passages to c&p. In general, the voices of this were so spot-on, I could hear them perfectly, and I love how stubborn Abed is and how cluelessly awesome Troy is. Though I ship them, I wasn't sure if I could ever fully buy into sexualized fic. You changed my mind! This is *wonderful*.
Bits I loved: "Look, Abed, this isn't 90210." "It isn't?" asked Abed. "No, it isn't. It's not like some rival gang had him taken care of. Troy's not even in a gang. The only gang that would take him would be one of those singing and dancing ones that snap." "West Side Story," said Abed, but he didn't look happy. "But Troy's not white. Or Puerto Rican." What's so great about this is Jeff's rhythm is perfect and Abed's pop-culture encyclopedia of a brain is perfect and their banter is JUST RIGHT.
"Troy still has both of his kidneys," said Abed when he noticed her reading it. "As far was we know," he added, ominously. You know he added that after reflecting on how it would underline the dramatic thrust of his mission.
"You know, they say teenage girls are naturally more dramatic than boys are. I don't have any daughters but" --she paused to take a sip-- "I think that that's definitely not always the case." Aww, Mrs. Barnes! I really love her.
Shirley or Jeff or even Pierce probably would have been offered coffee instead of Squirt *bwee* "Squirt" makes me giggle as much as "Pluckenpole"
Abed cocked his head thoughtfully, then nodded. "I'm pretty sure." See, this is awesome because Pudi does this, just like a thoughtful little bird or raptor, and you've captured it, contextually, so well.
"Also, this text doesn't look like something that Troy would write. It's got, you know. Punctuation and correct spelling." AHAHAHAHA. *Troy*.
You can't just look at people and tell what's wrong with them or what they saw or who they talked to." "Sherlock Holmes could do that," Abed pointed out. "He could tell people's whole life stories just by looking at them. And then he would use that knowledge to punch them in the face in the most devastating way possible." "You're not Sherlock Holmes! And Sherlock Holmes did not just go about punching people all...all willy-nilly! This whole exchange is *golden*. I love the Annie & Abed dynamic you establish and explore throughout, and exchanges like this are a huge part of why. (And I love the later reveal that Abed and Troy saw Holmes on Christmas; it adds retrospective poignancy very subtly.)
Except the roles are reversed and Greendale has obviously already been racially integrated for a long time. Do you see what I mean? ♥ABED♥
"Anyway. George always struck me as that annoying straight-edge dude who still hangs out with the hippies for no reason except so he can feel holier-than-thou." "Maybe you're just projecting," Abed pointed out. Once again I marvel at your mastery of their voices, and this insight into Britta is *priceless*.
"Oh my god, I've gone bl--oh." I know I keep saying this, but, hand to God, I CAN HEAR AND SEE DON GLOVER DOING THIS. Just so well done.
Not because he was afraid of a sheep, he told himself, but because everyone who had ever seen any sort of action movie knew that now was the time when you conserved your energy in order to fight at a later time. With this in mind, he maneuvered himself so he could sit upright more comfortably, and then carefully pushed himself away from where he knew the sheep to be. I love that Abed's life-lessons-via-movies are rubbing off on Troy. Plus, SHEEP FEAR.
It had terrified him, and only supplemented his perfectly rational existing fear of petting zoos. I love Troy's ever-lengthening list of fears and phobias. :DDDD
He had never known, he had told Abed, that Sherlock Holmes was so into kicking dudes in the face. Pretty much a perfect sentence! ♥ ♥ ♥
It was hard to believe someone so obviously nefarious was such a good judge of state quarters. Oh, Abed. I love this.
"I never thought being a detective would be so fun! It's like being Sherlock Holmes or Lord Peter Wimsey--" "Or Scooby Doo," said Abed. AWWWWW!
"I think we all know what weed looks like, Annie." <333
"Actually, I chose Jeff's car because of the comfortable leather interiors," said Abed. "And also because I think you have to learn an important lesson about how friends are more valuable than your cell phone, Jeff." Abed's longterm dedication to Jeff's emotional growth is so lovely.
"That doesn't--look, obviously you are not a lawyer." "Neither are you," she pointed out, in that deceptive, sweet voice she used sometimes just to infuriate him. "Anymore." PWNED BY SHIRLEY AWWW YEAH
"No, no. Dude, you did it all like it was a school project or something." Annie smiled again. This was exactly the sort of comparison she had been hoping to inspire, in fact. You've done so well by Annie in this entire piece, I think it's fantastic. She's the best. <3
"And usually," said Abed, still resolutely examining the muffin, "that person disappears before the other person gets to tell them that they love them." Okay, here's the thing. Your story is lovely, and hilarious, and spot-on in the voices and motivations, and I loved it. And then I got to this line and IT ALL TRIPLED IN AWESOME. This line is just *so* right, and so heartfelt, and so BEAUTIFUL. It's a perfect capsule of Abed, and their relationship, and the story as a whole. \o/
Abed's words seemed to open up a serene, unworried plain in his mind. And this a really lovely phrase. Such a great note to wrap up on.
no subject
I have a whole whack of passages to c&p. In general, the voices of this were so spot-on, I could hear them perfectly, and I love how stubborn Abed is and how cluelessly awesome Troy is. Though I ship them, I wasn't sure if I could ever fully buy into sexualized fic. You changed my mind! This is *wonderful*.
Bits I loved:
"Look, Abed, this isn't 90210."
"It isn't?" asked Abed.
"No, it isn't. It's not like some rival gang had him taken care of. Troy's not even in a gang. The only gang that would take him would be one of those singing and dancing ones that snap."
"West Side Story," said Abed, but he didn't look happy. "But Troy's not white. Or Puerto Rican."
What's so great about this is Jeff's rhythm is perfect and Abed's pop-culture encyclopedia of a brain is perfect and their banter is JUST RIGHT.
"Troy still has both of his kidneys," said Abed when he noticed her reading it. "As far was we know," he added, ominously.
You know he added that after reflecting on how it would underline the dramatic thrust of his mission.
"You know, they say teenage girls are naturally more dramatic than boys are. I don't have any daughters but" --she paused to take a sip-- "I think that that's definitely not always the case."
Aww, Mrs. Barnes! I really love her.
Shirley or Jeff or even Pierce probably would have been offered coffee instead of Squirt
*bwee* "Squirt" makes me giggle as much as "Pluckenpole"
Abed cocked his head thoughtfully, then nodded. "I'm pretty sure."
See, this is awesome because Pudi does this, just like a thoughtful little bird or raptor, and you've captured it, contextually, so well.
"Also, this text doesn't look like something that Troy would write. It's got, you know. Punctuation and correct spelling."
AHAHAHAHA. *Troy*.
You can't just look at people and tell what's wrong with them or what they saw or who they talked to."
"Sherlock Holmes could do that," Abed pointed out. "He could tell people's whole life stories just by looking at them. And then he would use that knowledge to punch them in the face in the most devastating way possible."
"You're not Sherlock Holmes! And Sherlock Holmes did not just go about punching people all...all willy-nilly!
This whole exchange is *golden*. I love the Annie & Abed dynamic you establish and explore throughout, and exchanges like this are a huge part of why. (And I love the later reveal that Abed and Troy saw Holmes on Christmas; it adds retrospective poignancy very subtly.)
Except the roles are reversed and Greendale has obviously already been racially integrated for a long time. Do you see what I mean?
♥ABED♥
"Anyway. George always struck me as that annoying straight-edge dude who still hangs out with the hippies for no reason except so he can feel holier-than-thou."
"Maybe you're just projecting," Abed pointed out.
Once again I marvel at your mastery of their voices, and this insight into Britta is *priceless*.
"Oh my god, I've gone bl--oh."
I know I keep saying this, but, hand to God, I CAN HEAR AND SEE DON GLOVER DOING THIS. Just so well done.
Not because he was afraid of a sheep, he told himself, but because everyone who had ever seen any sort of action movie knew that now was the time when you conserved your energy in order to fight at a later time. With this in mind, he maneuvered himself so he could sit upright more comfortably, and then carefully pushed himself away from where he knew the sheep to be.
I love that Abed's life-lessons-via-movies are rubbing off on Troy. Plus, SHEEP FEAR.
It had terrified him, and only supplemented his perfectly rational existing fear of petting zoos.
I love Troy's ever-lengthening list of fears and phobias. :DDDD
He had never known, he had told Abed, that Sherlock Holmes was so into kicking dudes in the face.
Pretty much a perfect sentence! ♥ ♥ ♥
It was hard to believe someone so obviously nefarious was such a good judge of state quarters.
Oh, Abed. I love this.
"I never thought being a detective would be so fun! It's like being Sherlock Holmes or Lord Peter Wimsey--"
"Or Scooby Doo," said Abed.
AWWWWW!
"I think we all know what weed looks like, Annie."
<333
"Actually, I chose Jeff's car because of the comfortable leather interiors," said Abed. "And also because I think you have to learn an important lesson about how friends are more valuable than your cell phone, Jeff."
Abed's longterm dedication to Jeff's emotional growth is so lovely.
"That doesn't--look, obviously you are not a lawyer."
"Neither are you," she pointed out, in that deceptive, sweet voice she used sometimes just to infuriate him. "Anymore."
PWNED BY SHIRLEY AWWW YEAH
"No, no. Dude, you did it all like it was a school project or something."
Annie smiled again. This was exactly the sort of comparison she had been hoping to inspire, in fact.
You've done so well by Annie in this entire piece, I think it's fantastic. She's the best. <3
"And usually," said Abed, still resolutely examining the muffin, "that person disappears before the other person gets to tell them that they love them."
Okay, here's the thing. Your story is lovely, and hilarious, and spot-on in the voices and motivations, and I loved it. And then I got to this line and IT ALL TRIPLED IN AWESOME. This line is just *so* right, and so heartfelt, and so BEAUTIFUL. It's a perfect capsule of Abed, and their relationship, and the story as a whole. \o/
Abed's words seemed to open up a serene, unworried plain in his mind.
And this a really lovely phrase. Such a great note to wrap up on.