MORE IMPORTANT THOUGHTS FROM THE 70'S!

[neigedens]

Fic! I made fic, guys. With a threesome, and incest. Inadvertent incest. (Inad-cest? Is that a thing? It is now.) And now, for good measure, a few more important Star Wars thoughts, this time about Empire Strikes Back:

• I LOVE THIS MOVIE YOU GUYS. It will be my favorite, always and forever.


• At the end of the movie Lando is wearing the same clothes that Han was wearing to the medal ceremony in "A New Hope." This leads me to one of two conclusions: either Han and Lando both are frequent customers of Rascally Scoundrel Outfitters Ltd., or Lando is Han's ex, they parted on bad terms (to say the least), and now Lando feels entitled to wear Han's clothes. Maybe originally they were his! Is there fic about this? There needs to be.


• My OTP is Han/Leia, but my real OTP is Han/unnecessary aggression towards people who are only trying to help him. "You'll die out there!" "THEN I'LL SEE YOU IN HELL!" Maybe Han yells that all the time. Like, "General Solo, we're out of turbo-deicers for the south doors!" "Then I will see those turbo-deicers all IN HELL." Man, who did Han have to sleep with besides Leia to be made a general? It's a mystery.


• OK, I love Leia Organa. I mean, it's no surprise to anyone. She's the type that insecure, misogynist men and slashing misogynist fangirls hate for being a bitch or a slut (both of which are insults I've heard and seen thrown at her in real life and on the Internet. Which was super-rude of a fellow grocery-bagger at Target, if I had wanted his opinion about my Star Wars rock band T-shirt I would have fucking asked for it.) and, not to be contrary, but that is all the shit that makes me love her. She kisses whoever the hell she wants! (Sometimes ill-advisedly. Sometimes it turns out you were kissing your brother! COULD HAPPEN TO ANYONE.) She will get mad at you for fucking up the Milennium Falcon's hyperdrive because, uh, you're the captain, you're supposed to take care of this shit and THERE IS A SITH-MASTERING MEGALOMANIACAL DICTATOR LITERALLY TWENTY FEET BEHIND US. (Sometimes, of course, the megalomaniacal Sith master turns out to be your bio-dad. ALSO COULD HAPPEN TO ANYONE.)


• In the end, I have to think that Leia ends up believing that the Force has a sick sense of humor and enjoys fucking with her. Simple tricks and nonsense indeed.


• As I've said, I'm a huge fan of Muppet!Yoda, what with his epic throwdown over a dog biscuit with R2-D2 and his Force-inspired trolling skills, but in the end all the non-Han/Leia parts of this movie are, to me, immaterial. I mean, I imagine this is true for a lot of people in fandom, but all the h/c in this movie was SO formative for my narrative kinks. I love everything about it: the non-specific but horrible torture! (I find Harrison Ford's screams in that scene both lolzy and kind of sexy. Is that weird?) The ~noble sacrificing~! The forehead kissing! And all of it interspersed with dopey droid and Wookiee humor. Oh, good times.


• &DROIDS; dancesontrains has been talking about Gunnerkrigg Court lately, and since I love adorable robots I think I should read it. Pretty sure Star Wars was formative of my adorable robot love, even more than MST3K (which is saying something.)


• There's a part where C-3PO remarks (offendedly!) on the dialect that the Falcon speaks in. Of course, this leads me to think about a fic called "Han's (Other) Wife," about the Falcon getting inexplicably ensouled and personified. I imagine her being grease-stained, something like Leia except with an absolutely filthy mouth. and then there'd be another ill-advised threesome with Han and both his wives, the end.

My life does consist of more than Star Wars nostalgia, but at this point even I am having a hard time believing it.

Comments

[thingswithwings]

this entire post is a shining sparkling gem of PURE JOY. I read several parts out loud to my roommate, mostly because LOLZ TRUTH. Loving the Star Wars nostalgia: loving it.

[neigedens]

EVERYONE MUST LOVE THE STAR WARS NOSTALGIA. :|

:D ♥

[dancesontrains]

Have I mentioned that I adore you any time recently?

[neigedens]

:D BACK ATCHA SUNSHINE.

[toft]

Awwww, now I'm having massive wonderful nostalgia about Empire. AGREE RE: LEIA AND THE FORMATIVE NATURE OF LEIA/HAN. Also, I am delighted that Lando wears Han's clothes.

[neigedens]

they are my hilarious dysfunctional OTP. Like the sex was, presumably, drunken/amazing and the argument DESTROYED PLANETS LIKE THE DEATH STAR (metaphorically)

[havocthecat]

LEIA ORGANA. I wanted to grow up to be her, just like all the other little girls of my generation. And all the misogynists that hate her can fuck off or something.

[neigedens]

Dude, they so can. It's one of the most irritating double standards that I hear from people and why I don't discuss my Star Wars love with people IRL because so many people will complain about Leia being "abrasive" (that's the most polite term they use) or whatever, which is like 1.)...yeah? So? and 2) Yeah, because Han is not abrasive AT ALL oh no. Like, they both are mean and loud and angry at each other, it is a precursor to their DYNAMITE SEXUAL TENSION OK. It's just such a double standard and it pisses me off.

/end rant

[havocthecat]

Apparently the youngest Senator in the history of the Empire is somehow supposed to get there by being a nice girl. Riiiiiight.

The double standards involved in perception of male and female characters astounds me. The fact that it's never-ending is, of course, totally unsurprising. If infuriating.