STAR WARS FIC: "Simple Tricks and Nonsense," Han/Luke/Leia, R

This was pretty much inevitable. Also I got more of a kick out of using the Troy icon than I should have.

Title: Simple Tricks and Nonsense
Fandom: Star Wars: A New Hope
Word Count: 3028
Rating: R
Characters: Han/Leia/Luke
Warning(s): (highlight to reveal) Well, incest, obviously. Inadvertent incest. I'm not sure if that defense holds up in court or not.
Notes: Thanks to custardpringle for beta-ing.

Summary: The experimental protocol droid in the barroom on Yavin IV was the start of all of Princess Leia's problems. In a way.


( Analysis shows: 40 percent chance of Skywalker imbibing enough alcohol to induce vomiting. 30 percent chance of Skywalker and Solo engaging in fisticuffs or impromptu lightsaber/extra-long drink straw battle-- )

MORE IMPORTANT THOUGHTS FROM THE 70'S!

Fic! I made fic, guys. With a threesome, and incest. Inadvertent incest. (Inad-cest? Is that a thing? It is now.) And now, for good measure, a few more important Star Wars thoughts, this time about Empire Strikes Back:

• I LOVE THIS MOVIE YOU GUYS. It will be my favorite, always and forever.


• At the end of the movie Lando is wearing the same clothes that Han was wearing to the medal ceremony in "A New Hope." This leads me to one of two conclusions: either Han and Lando both are frequent customers of Rascally Scoundrel Outfitters Ltd., or Lando is Han's ex, they parted on bad terms (to say the least), and now Lando feels entitled to wear Han's clothes. Maybe originally they were his! Is there fic about this? There needs to be.


• My OTP is Han/Leia, but my real OTP is Han/unnecessary aggression towards people who are only trying to help him. "You'll die out there!" "THEN I'LL SEE YOU IN HELL!" Maybe Han yells that all the time. Like, "General Solo, we're out of turbo-deicers for the south doors!" "Then I will see those turbo-deicers all IN HELL." Man, who did Han have to sleep with besides Leia to be made a general? It's a mystery.

( More thoughts: Han is a polygamist; droids are adorable; I love Leia, as you may have guessed )


My life does consist of more than Star Wars nostalgia, but at this point even I am having a hard time believing it.