An Unshaven Collection of Bad Habits Marinated in Alcohol

On Saturday morning my bff Nyssa and I went to an LGBT rights rally at the University of St. Thomas in St. Paul! We were protesting two speakers there, Prop. 8's biggest fans OM NOM NOM's Maggie Gallagher and Bishop Salvatore Cordileone.

Keep in mind that St. Thomas was the same school that didn't allow Archbishop Desmond Tutu to speak on-campus because he has been critical of Israel's past human rights violations. (They eventually changed their tact and condescended to allow him to speak, but by then Tutu had decided not to come for some reason.)



There was a pretty sizable group of us (about 250 people) and it was a really lovely morning out. I'm really glad I went! Also there were free sticky buns and balloons and God knows I always love that shit. This is a pretty good article about what went down. It gets awesomely conspiracy theorist-y at the end:

But other than holding forth on marriage, family, and life to participants in a series of smaller forums on that subject run by the Archdiocese, it is not completely clear why Gallagher was in St Paul. Was it to help cover-up the most recent round of priestly child abuse scandals, as the head of the Catholic LGBT group Dignity Twin Cities told the rally? Was it to lay the groundwork for a push to further limit the rights of same-gender couples in Minnesota?

DA DUN DUNNNNN. I sense that Michele Bachmann was somehow involved in all this (NO I DIDN'T SEE HER.)

It seems like every time Michele Bachmann opens her mouth lately, I will get a phone call from these Tarryl Clark people, and the conversation always goes something like this:

THEM: Hey there, Registered Democrat-Farmer-Labor Party Member! Do you hate Michele Bachmann?
ME: Boy do I!
THEM: How much do you hate her?
ME: A whole lot!
THEM: Do you 15 bucks hate her?
ME: I--well, what did she say?
THEM: [INSERT WHATEVER RACIST/IGNORANT/VIOLENT SHIT MICHELE BACHMANN HAS SAID THIS WEEK]
ME: Jesus fucking Christ, let me give you 15 bucks and also every penny I own.

Ha, this Tarryl Clark has really got my number! It's like with every $15 I feel less and less compelled to kick Michele Bachmann in the shins.

(No, I'm just kidding. That is a feeling that never goes away.)

Nyssa and I went to the Great Minnesota Get-Together this week! It was a super-awesome, super-high caloric intake kind of day. We had nice weather and we saw many great sights. The coolest sight was Minnesota's Largest Boar, who is named Jesse Ventura Dino and is roughly one million pounds and must be fed continuously on a diet of giblets and the souls of the wicked. No, but seriously, it was one freaky-looking pig.

Oh, the Republicans had a building there, too! They had a sign out front that said "WHITES ONLY" "Welcome to Obamacare! The Nurse Will See You In About A Billion Years!" Ha, ha, Republicans! They can make all the jokes they want, but will they be laughing when Obama declares himself the Supreme Socialist Overlord of the West and enslaves all the white people? I think not!

Anyway, while Nyssa and I were cavorting around the fair, Senator Not Norm Coleman was finally getting us our money's worth after taking About A Billion Years to be elected:



Senator Franken ♥_♥

(Also, check out the guy at 7:25 with the question on every teabagger's mind: "Is there some way I can blame this on immigrants?" JFC. /o\)

All this "Sarah Palin resigning to save the children" shit is MAKING MY FUCKING WEEKEND. I forgot how amazingly surreal just listening to this woman speak is. It's like this one time I downloaded the wrong version of a telenovela and the dub was in Portuguese instead of Spanish, which I didn't figure out until about five confused minutes in. Sarah Palin is speaking her own dialect of crazy and, lo, it is good. From the text of the speech:

I do not want to disappoint anyone with my decision; all I can ask is that you trust me with this decision – but it’s no more “politics as usual”.

Was anyone else really upset that she did not call herself a maverick?

Some Alaskans don’t mind wasting public dollars and state time. I do. I cannot stand here as your Governor and allow millions upon millions of our dollars go to waste just so I can hold the title of Governor. And my children won’t allow it either.

I, just...you guys, does she realize that this excuse doesn't even deserve to be called one? Why couldn't she just say that she's quitting to spend more time with family or something? Sure it's flimsy, but it's at least plausible and, hey, it could play up the "happy homemaker" side of things, and wouldn't her base just eat that up? But instead we get this verbal diarrhea, the gist of which is "uh, I'm terrible at being a governor and my kids agree with me lol."

All this is like America's gift to me, and that gift is lolz and lots of them. THANK YOU AMERICA, I TRULY DID NOT APPRECIATE YOU UNTIL NOW.

Go die in a fire, Michelle Bachman. I don't even care if you didn't blame the financial crisis on minorities. You still should gtfo of my state. >:(